This time last year we were in Devon (above) – can’t wait much longer to get away again.

Saturday 12^th October 2019

Having a shower is hard at the moment. Nigel tried putting clingfilm around my wound so the water doesn’t make it sting – it helps enough to make the shower lovely.

My mouth still tastes horrible. I can only take my tablets crushed and mixed in custard but at least I’m drinking water better so some progress.

Now I just have to rest.

I have been trying all day to get something nourishing down my throat – the most I have managed is a couple of tablespoons of chicken noodle soup (less the noodles). I think if I had left it at that I may have been OK but I tried some flavoured yoghurt as well and by the time I went to bed I felt so sick I wanted to give up.

I phoned my brother Brian just to let him know I’m doing OK but he didn’t know what to say to me – I think I just needed reassuring everything will work out. Nigel tells me all the time but that’s because he loves me. I love him and I want to believe him.

Sunday 13^th October 2019

I woke feeling stronger today. I do still have pain in my neck and it is still a big open wound but I keep hoping it is getting smaller – but I’m not sure it is.

I’m feeling better in myself but I’m still spending much of the day sleeping.

Monday 14^th October 2019

I had a horrible sticky mouth through the night and felt really thirsty. Drinking wasn’t hard but I couldn’t shift the thick sticky saliva. Carol had given me some mouthwash tablets for this some time ago so I gave it a go. Unfortunately it just made me feel sick and even worse everything I drank for quite a time afterwards tasted even more salty than it had before – I won’t be doing that again.

I tried to eat more during the day – I had some ReadyBrek for lunch (only 2 tablespoons as a start) – shame it tasted like wood but at least I did swallow it.

I asked Nigel to get a couple of apples to stew down for my tea – worth a try. He did a good job of the stewing but I didn’t like the taste of them either.

Even though I’m sleeping pretty well during the night I’m still doing a lot of sleeping during the day as well – might be the morphine I guess.

Tuesday 15^th October 2019

My sense of smell is returning a bit – for the first time I could smell my tablets as I crushed them up this morning – they were still hard to take in custard (making me retch) but I did get them down.

After another restful day yesterday it’s a busy one today – first its Slimming World where I found I had only lost 5½lbs (I would have killed for that a couple of months ago). This shows that I’ve been drinking a lot better and eating at least a little.

It was good to have a chat with old friends and meet a visiting consultant who it turned out was the daughter of the shopkeepers I used to work for in the village way back in the mid 80’s. It was nice to meet her – I remembered her as a naughty little girl.

Hospital this afternoon – they were much happier with me this week still wanting me to get more nourishment but pleased with the way my wound is healing. They gave me some anti sickness stuff which hopefully will help. They were also concerned about constipation – a known side effect of all the pain killers I’m taking – I just figured not much in meant not much out. They gave me some laxative that I only needed to take 10ml of at a time – I’ll give it a try.

Very tired when we got home so I had a late siesta for a couple of hours.

Wednesday 16^th October 2019

I got up today feeling very positive after the hospital visit yesterday.

I took a dose of the anti-sickness jollop a bit before taking my custard tablets followed shortly afterward by  some ReadyBrek with almond milk – tasted much better and went down well.

I’m going to have to start planning menu’s again.

Lunch today was more chicken noodle soup (less bits) followed by 3 grapes (less skins) – I felt quite elated to have eat that much.

I had my siesta in Voyager as Sharon (my lady that does) whizzed around with Mr Dyson and a duster. I’m still not up to any housework just yet and am lucky to have Sharon’s help – think this part of my recovery will take longer than the rest.

Evening meal – well after such a big lunch I just wasn’t hungry so didn’t have any.

I went to bed without a bandage – we reckoned the wound is dry enough now.

Thursday 17^th October 2019

My wound wasn’t wet when I woke up so we made the right choice – it does look a lot like a scaly lizard though – but at least it’s getting better.

I had some milk (cows) and a couple of peeled grapes for breakfast – couldn’t persuade Nigel that peeling grapes was easy so I’m having to do them myself.

I did take some of the prescribed laxative which did its job – so one more thing not to worry about.

For lunch I had more soup and a pop up ice lolly which I did enjoy.

We went out in Voyager for a bit of fresh air and to top up the LPG in readiness for our next rally (Sharpness on 25^th) – good to give her a little run now and again.

When we got home I was sleepy so had a couple of hour’s kip. I think it must be the morphine that is giving me some very odd but lucid dreams. Today Nigel and I were cycling (?) around Lacock on pink bikes spraying pink water everywhere (Freud would have a field day I reckon).

More soup for tea with another push up lolly. I will get more adventurous soon – just happy to be getting something down at the moment.

Friday 18^th October 2019

OK so I maybe having morphine withdrawal – because I was fighting with this horrible person about having two ice pops and an ice lolly at 0400 this morning. I felt guilty for eating them and felt I needed my bottom smacked.

Awake properly at 0745 – I have taken most of my pills whole this morning just crushed the 2 biggest ones (progress). I had a small amount of morphine, still wearing the Fentanyl patch but that’s all – I’m in no pain, even drinking is so much better. I also think my taste buds are healing a bit as well.

I had ReadyBrek for breakfast today and all day I’ve been sucking on ice pops and lollies. They keep my mouth moist which I have to say I never thought I’d get back. I do still get thick sticky stuff in the back of my throat which can make me gag at times but it’s still good progress.

More soup for meals but I’ve not taken as much morphine and have felt much better overall. I even enjoyed a few sips of Pepsimax – something I haven’t done for a few weeks due to the taste as well as the fizz.

I’m getting there!

This time last year we were at Weston enjoying our Indian Summer!

*** Another Graphic picture below ***

Saturday 5^th October 2019

Today has been the worst day so far. It is really hard to swallow and my lips are cracked and sore. It stings when I try to take my dissolved pain killers so right now I’m only taking OraMorph as it is only 5ml – even that is hard but it does help. My mouth seems sticky as well – I’m hoping this is my peek and it gets better from now on.

I did sleep a lot today which definitely helped. I do keep trying to have a sip of water – it is better having it cold.

Sunday 6^th October 2019

I must say I have woken up feeling a bit better – it is still difficult to take my normal medication (pills crushed up and mixed in a teaspoon of yoghurt) I’m trying really hard to get it all down – it’s the only food I’m eating at the moment.

I have slept a lot today but I’m really struggling to get anything down my throat even water. I don’t think the food replacement drinks would work – it’s not that I don’t want them it’s that I can’t get them down.

I’m starting to really worry and I know Nigel is too but what can I do. How do I make it better?

Monday 7^th October 2019

Today hasn’t been any better – I still can’t get much down – so it’s just 5ml of OraMorph and little sips of water. It takes so long to get even that down. It is constantly painful in my throat apart from a short while after the Morphine kicks in.

I stayed up in my chair tonight as I find it easier than lying down.

Tuesday 8^th October 2019

I had a fretful night – my mouth kept getting sticky which caused me to dribble so I would have to clean it up. I did get a few hours’ sleep in the early morning.

Then I was up taking OraMorph and a small amount of water with ice then my tablets with yoghurt.

Shower this morning and I opted for a strappy top so it wouldn’t rub on my wound. The dressing Carol gave us last week does help it calm down so its not sore or messy. They are one use only so I will need some more today.

Slimming World day – now you may wonder why I want to go with the way I’m feeling. It’s just that I have been a member for over two year now and it’s more of a social support group (almost family) where I have made a lot of good friends. Weigh in was a bit of a shock though – I knew I would have lost some weight but 13½ lbs in a week is scary. I had even worn jeans instead of my usual leggings.

Back home so Nigel could have a quick sandwich and me some more Morphine – then off to the hospital for my first follow-up appointment.

A few minutes wait and then a bit of a shock when the young nurse who collected us from the waiting room ushered us into a room. Not my Doctor and one of the nurses I had met which was what I was expecting but a group of six women. Laura and Fiona (two of the neck nurse’s) Sophie (dietitian) and Henrietta (swallowing nurse) plus another nurse as well as the young one who showed us in. I felt a bit ganged up on.

Well they soon worked out I wasn’t so good and there was a problem. Laura, sitting behind me, came out with “Should we keep her in?” I told them that wasn’t an option. I get better care at home – give us what we need and we will do the rest.

They did my Obs which proved to be all good and then sent us off for a blood test – I think so they could formulate a plan.

When we returned Fiona said they didn’t want to keep me in, that they would give me additional pain relief in the form of a Fentanyl patch (works like nicotine ones – through the skin) as well as upping the recommended dose of Morphine. This should make swallowing less painful.

They also gave me some protein drinks and more dressings.

We left the hospital after three hours but at least there was now a plan.

Wednesday 9^th October 2019

Laura phone early this morning saying my blood test showed no problems except de-hydration and to carry on with the plan.

Despite a slow start – it was still hard to swallow any water – after a couple of OraMorph’s at about 1.00pm I could suck on some ice chips and a couple of ice pops. Allowing them to melt on my tongue and then swallowing.

Been very sleepy today but when I am awake I keep looking at the lovely flowers Nigel bought me yesterday – they are bright and cheer me up no end. He is so thoughtful (especially when I give him big hints).

Today has gone along well – I have been sucking on ice chips and the ice pops are good to suck on now. I even had two tablespoons of custard with my crushed tablets and it all went down well. I have taken more OraMorph and am not in so much pain. I must have got through three glasses of water today – if this continues tomorrow should be even better.

My skin is itching a lot (all over) – may be a side effect of the drugs.

Thursday 10^th October 2019

It is amazing what difference a day makes – yesterday I was doing OK but today is even better. I’m now sipping lovely cold water (even though it tastes like sea water). I’m looking for something to flavour it – tried orange squash, Ribena etc. I even tried the hospital drinks but I didn’t like the Apricot one at all.

I had two spoons of custard to take my tablets early on but had more mid-afternoon just because I fancied it – what a step forward. An hour or so later I did feel a bit sick so I didn’t have any for tea. I did take my evening pills with some though.

The itching is driving me mad. Scratching too much – but I just can’t stop.

Friday 11^th October 2019

I did sleep well again last night – but then I’m always feeling tired and dropping off most of the day.

I have been trying lots of different drinks to see what tastes OK – nothing has so far.

Nigel has been keeping my wound clean for me – he is so good. I keep the dressing on for a while longer now as it helps to clean up the edges – but it is still very wet and messy.

I’m drinking more of the ice and water than I have been doing.

The evening went well but I’m so sleepy all the time and couldn’t stop scratching my itchy skin with shaking hands now – they seem to have a mind of their own now.

Recovery isn’t going as quickly as I had hoped so you will be getting weekly Blogs until things are better – you have been with me so far and I have appreciated your support.