Radiotherapy and the Evil Sorceress

Saturday 19th October 2019

Yesterday I was feeling so good but when I woke this morning my throat hurt and the constant sickness feeling was back. I didn’t take much pain killer overnight and after I had some things did improve a little.

Although feeling nauseous all day I did manage to have some more soup and lollies for lunch.

I also got some sewing done – thought it might take my mind of my problems – and still had a fair bit of sleep as well.

I have decided to keep off the OraMorph and revert to Paracetamol – hoping it will be gentler on my stomach.

More soup for tea – it seems the only thing I can get down without gagging.

Sunday 20th October 2019

I woke Nigel up at 05.00 this morning – I needed some pain relief and I get so confused as to what to take these days – we decided on OraMorph because it’s only a small amount and easy to swallow – even if it does upset my tummy a bit.

Ate all my breakfast of ReadyBrek today – another small step in the right direction. Then more steps in the form of a short walk down the lane – it shows autumn is really here – I could feel it in the air.

We went into town, got some ingredients for homemade soup (tomato) which I made when we got back. It was lovely and made a change from the chicken noodle tinned one I had been living on. Still only eating small amounts but regularly now so on the up.

Got a bit more sewing done (completed alterations to Nigel’s New Year suit and my Halloween outfit).

Monday 21st October 2019

I slept well last night – got through with only 5ml of OraMorph (doing well) and woke with a really positive attitude today. My wound itched a bit but at least it wasn’t hurting so much this morning when I stretch it (when turning) – more progress.

Lunch was a couple of spoons of soup which I enjoyed. I still have the sticky throat and try as I might I can’t shift it – every drink I try doesn’t help at all.

Tonight I thought I was going to be sick but all I did was retching on an empty stomach. As I haven’t eaten much I thought, grab the bull by the horns and try some scrambled egg made with butter (suggested by Nigel) with a bit of tinned tomato left over from his breakfast. I did eat a bit of the egg but have to say the tomatoes tasted better – enjoyed them.

Tuesday 22nd October 2019

A reasonable night’s sleep – woke up thirsty – still can’t find a drink to cut through the sticky stuff. I know it seems all I do is complain about it but at the moment it is a major part of what this is about.

I had a good shower today and my wound is now scabbed up so the water didn’t hurt – still putting plenty of Epimax cream on the new skin as it appears so it stays moist and doesn’t crack or get crusty.

I lost another 4lb this week on the scales at Slimming World which gave me my 6stone award – I think I will be happy to stay at this so am aiming to eat at bit more if I can to stop the losses. I chatted with my friends, all were very supportive, and Kathy suggested I try Lemon & Lime sparkling water (she even nipped out to her car for one). I put it in the fridge for later.

Hospital check-up this afternoon – they were very happy with my progress both the wound and my general demeanour. I don’t have to see them again until mid-November when I get to see my consultant again. We did our last YouTube Vlog for a while on our way home – me for a well-deserved siesta (long tiring day) while Nigel edited and uploaded the vlog.

I did try the L&L water and it’s helping cut through the sticky stuff better than anything else I’ve tried – result.

Wednesday 23rd October 2019

After yesterday I was very tired so slept most of today away. I did eat some ReadyBrek and more soup but not up to normal portions yet.

Thursday 24th October 2019

I thought I would feel better after sleeping most of yesterday but still not good.

I was due to have my hair done this afternoon but just wasn’t up to it. Emma came but we just chatted for a bit – me a bit emotional, but she is a good friend and was super reassuring. We have rescheduled for next week.

Friday 25th October 2019

A bit of an improvement this morning – still not as good as earlier in the week though. I had a good hot shower which made me feel better too.

Nigel went shopping for the last few things we needed before we headed off for our first weekend away since way back in early September – not really feeling up to it but I didn’t want to disappoint him. He says we don’t have to join in if we don’t want to but you never know.

It was a bit of a journey to Sharpness the M4 M5 junction was particularly busy (something to do with half term I believe) but even so we got to our rally field about 15.30 – it rained most of the way there but did stop for a short while after we had got set up. Our fellow campers were all in caravans and parked on the grass – we were on hard standing near the edge – our 5 tonne unit doesn’t do well on grass this time of year.

pitched up

Saturday 26th October 2019

It rained almost continuously overnight (we could see puddles on the grass between the vans) and hadn’t stopped by lunch time.

soggy field

Nigel had been regularly checking his rainfall radar app and predicted it would stop between 2 & 3 pm – I had my doubts. Still we were warm in Voyager so it was a restful day for both of us.

At about 3.30 it had mostly stopped – just a bit of drizzle – so we went out for a few minutes fresh air. Just 50 yards or so to a monument we could just see from our window.

monument

Terry our Marshall popped his head in and told us the ‘party’ would start about 7pm in the Dockers Club.

Dockers club

We decided to go for it – got dressed up – me as the ‘Evil Sorceress’ and Nigel as the ‘Grim Reaper’ – if nothing else it would give others a good laugh.

ES GR

I’m glad we did – it was only a small party (five couples with a few grandchildren) but everyone was very friendly. The Grim Reaper had to judge the children’s fancy dress – he was very diplomatic, after a bit of hamming it up with my ‘Staff of Interrogation’ he declared them all winners.

Party kids

Then the adults were judged and against all odds we were named the winning couple – and presented with a bottle of fizz as a prize.

We stayed a couple of hours, but I was not up to any more so we returned to Voyager and had an early night.

Sunday 27th October 2019

What a difference a day makes! A chilly morning but not a breath of wind and clear blue sky.

After breakfast (earlier than normal with the clocks having gone back) we did all the usual chores then set off for a good trundle on the 2G’s.

Trundle 1

Never having visited Sharpness before we didn’t have very high expectations but we found a lovely old docks the start of the Canal to Gloucester with many narrowboats and cruisers in the marina as well as good recreational areas with views of both the seven bridges.

Biker Girl
As a Biker Chic it was nice to see – even if i can’t ride now

sunset 1

We did one side of the docks in the morning where I collected some bits for a collage (just something I like to do)

collage

returned for a warming bowl of soup for lunch and then the other side of the docks and the marina in the afternoon.

We were the last to leave at about 3.30 and were home by 5.00.

Although I was reluctant to come I’m really glad we did – it was a really good weekend and just what we needed.

Feeling a lot better and my wound is almost healed now.

wound

Radiotherapy – Recovery week 2

This time last year we were in Devon (above) – can’t wait much longer to get away again.

Saturday 12th October 2019

Having a shower is hard at the moment. Nigel tried putting clingfilm around my wound so the water doesn’t make it sting – it helps enough to make the shower lovely.

My mouth still tastes horrible. I can only take my tablets crushed and mixed in custard but at least I’m drinking water better so some progress.

Now I just have to rest.

I have been trying all day to get something nourishing down my throat – the most I have managed is a couple of tablespoons of chicken noodle soup (less the noodles). I think if I had left it at that I may have been OK but I tried some flavoured yoghurt as well and by the time I went to bed I felt so sick I wanted to give up.

I phoned my brother Brian just to let him know I’m doing OK but he didn’t know what to say to me – I think I just needed reassuring everything will work out. Nigel tells me all the time but that’s because he loves me. I love him and I want to believe him.

Sunday 13th October 2019

I woke feeling stronger today. I do still have pain in my neck and it is still a big open wound but I keep hoping it is getting smaller – but I’m not sure it is.

I’m feeling better in myself but I’m still spending much of the day sleeping.

Monday 14th October 2019

I had a horrible sticky mouth through the night and felt really thirsty. Drinking wasn’t hard but I couldn’t shift the thick sticky saliva. Carol had given me some mouthwash tablets for this some time ago so I gave it a go. Unfortunately it just made me feel sick and even worse everything I drank for quite a time afterwards tasted even more salty than it had before – I won’t be doing that again.

I tried to eat more during the day – I had some ReadyBrek for lunch (only 2 tablespoons as a start) – shame it tasted like wood but at least I did swallow it.

I asked Nigel to get a couple of apples to stew down for my tea – worth a try. He did a good job of the stewing but I didn’t like the taste of them either.

Even though I’m sleeping pretty well during the night I’m still doing a lot of sleeping during the day as well – might be the morphine I guess.

Tuesday 15th October 2019

My sense of smell is returning a bit – for the first time I could smell my tablets as I crushed them up this morning – they were still hard to take in custard (making me retch) but I did get them down.

After another restful day yesterday it’s a busy one today – first its Slimming World where I found I had only lost 5½lbs (I would have killed for that a couple of months ago). This shows that I’ve been drinking a lot better and eating at least a little.

It was good to have a chat with old friends and meet a visiting consultant who it turned out was the daughter of the shopkeepers I used to work for in the village way back in the mid 80’s. It was nice to meet her – I remembered her as a naughty little girl.

Hospital this afternoon – they were much happier with me this week still wanting me to get more nourishment but pleased with the way my wound is healing. They gave me some anti sickness stuff which hopefully will help. They were also concerned about constipation – a known side effect of all the pain killers I’m taking – I just figured not much in meant not much out. They gave me some laxative that I only needed to take 10ml of at a time – I’ll give it a try.

Very tired when we got home so I had a late siesta for a couple of hours.

Wednesday 16th October 2019

I got up today feeling very positive after the hospital visit yesterday.

I took a dose of the anti-sickness jollop a bit before taking my custard tablets followed shortly afterward by  some ReadyBrek with almond milk – tasted much better and went down well.

I’m going to have to start planning menu’s again.

Lunch today was more chicken noodle soup (less bits) followed by 3 grapes (less skins) – I felt quite elated to have eat that much.

I had my siesta in Voyager as Sharon (my lady that does) whizzed around with Mr Dyson and a duster. I’m still not up to any housework just yet and am lucky to have Sharon’s help – think this part of my recovery will take longer than the rest.

Evening meal – well after such a big lunch I just wasn’t hungry so didn’t have any.

I went to bed without a bandage – we reckoned the wound is dry enough now.

Thursday 17th October 2019

My wound wasn’t wet when I woke up so we made the right choice – it does look a lot like a scaly lizard though – but at least it’s getting better.

Mary 20191020

I had some milk (cows) and a couple of peeled grapes for breakfast – couldn’t persuade Nigel that peeling grapes was easy so I’m having to do them myself.

I did take some of the prescribed laxative which did its job – so one more thing not to worry about.

For lunch I had more soup and a pop up ice lolly which I did enjoy.

We went out in Voyager for a bit of fresh air and to top up the LPG in readiness for our next rally (Sharpness on 25th) – good to give her a little run now and again.

When we got home I was sleepy so had a couple of hour’s kip. I think it must be the morphine that is giving me some very odd but lucid dreams. Today Nigel and I were cycling (?) around Lacock on pink bikes spraying pink water everywhere (Freud would have a field day I reckon).

More soup for tea with another push up lolly. I will get more adventurous soon – just happy to be getting something down at the moment.

Friday 18th October 2019

OK so I maybe having morphine withdrawal – because I was fighting with this horrible person about having two ice pops and an ice lolly at 0400 this morning. I felt guilty for eating them and felt I needed my bottom smacked.

Awake properly at 0745 – I have taken most of my pills whole this morning just crushed the 2 biggest ones (progress). I had a small amount of morphine, still wearing the Fentanyl patch but that’s all – I’m in no pain, even drinking is so much better. I also think my taste buds are healing a bit as well.

I had ReadyBrek for breakfast today and all day I’ve been sucking on ice pops and lollies. They keep my mouth moist which I have to say I never thought I’d get back. I do still get thick sticky stuff in the back of my throat which can make me gag at times but it’s still good progress.

More soup for meals but I’ve not taken as much morphine and have felt much better overall. I even enjoyed a few sips of Pepsimax – something I haven’t done for a few weeks due to the taste as well as the fizz.

I’m getting there!

Radiatherapy – The Recovery begins!

This time last year we were at Weston enjoying our Indian Summer!

*** Another Graphic picture below ***

Saturday 5th October 2019

Today has been the worst day so far. It is really hard to swallow and my lips are cracked and sore. It stings when I try to take my dissolved pain killers so right now I’m only taking OraMorph as it is only 5ml – even that is hard but it does help. My mouth seems sticky as well – I’m hoping this is my peek and it gets better from now on.

I did sleep a lot today which definitely helped. I do keep trying to have a sip of water – it is better having it cold.

Sunday 6th October 2019

I must say I have woken up feeling a bit better – it is still difficult to take my normal medication (pills crushed up and mixed in a teaspoon of yoghurt) I’m trying really hard to get it all down – it’s the only food I’m eating at the moment.

I have slept a lot today but I’m really struggling to get anything down my throat even water. I don’t think the food replacement drinks would work – it’s not that I don’t want them it’s that I can’t get them down.

I’m starting to really worry and I know Nigel is too but what can I do. How do I make it better?

Monday 7th October 2019

Today hasn’t been any better – I still can’t get much down – so it’s just 5ml of OraMorph and little sips of water. It takes so long to get even that down. It is constantly painful in my throat apart from a short while after the Morphine kicks in.

I stayed up in my chair tonight as I find it easier than lying down.

Tuesday 8th October 2019

I had a fretful night – my mouth kept getting sticky which caused me to dribble so I would have to clean it up. I did get a few hours’ sleep in the early morning.

Then I was up taking OraMorph and a small amount of water with ice then my tablets with yoghurt.

Shower this morning and I opted for a strappy top so it wouldn’t rub on my wound. The dressing Carol gave us last week does help it calm down so its not sore or messy. They are one use only so I will need some more today.

Slimming World day – now you may wonder why I want to go with the way I’m feeling. It’s just that I have been a member for over two year now and it’s more of a social support group (almost family) where I have made a lot of good friends. Weigh in was a bit of a shock though – I knew I would have lost some weight but 13½ lbs in a week is scary. I had even worn jeans instead of my usual leggings.

Back home so Nigel could have a quick sandwich and me some more Morphine – then off to the hospital for my first follow-up appointment.

A few minutes wait and then a bit of a shock when the young nurse who collected us from the waiting room ushered us into a room. Not my Doctor and one of the nurses I had met which was what I was expecting but a group of six women. Laura and Fiona (two of the neck nurse’s) Sophie (dietitian) and Henrietta (swallowing nurse) plus another nurse as well as the young one who showed us in. I felt a bit ganged up on.

Well they soon worked out I wasn’t so good and there was a problem. Laura, sitting behind me, came out with “Should we keep her in?” I told them that wasn’t an option. I get better care at home – give us what we need and we will do the rest.

They did my Obs which proved to be all good and then sent us off for a blood test – I think so they could formulate a plan.

When we returned Fiona said they didn’t want to keep me in, that they would give me additional pain relief in the form of a Fentanyl patch (works like nicotine ones – through the skin) as well as upping the recommended dose of Morphine. This should make swallowing less painful.

They also gave me some protein drinks and more dressings.

We left the hospital after three hours but at least there was now a plan.

Wednesday 9th October 2019

Laura phone early this morning saying my blood test showed no problems except de-hydration and to carry on with the plan.

Despite a slow start – it was still hard to swallow any water – after a couple of OraMorph’s at about 1.00pm I could suck on some ice chips and a couple of ice pops. Allowing them to melt on my tongue and then swallowing.

Been very sleepy today but when I am awake I keep looking at the lovely flowers Nigel bought me yesterday – they are bright and cheer me up no end. He is so thoughtful (especially when I give him big hints).

Today has gone along well – I have been sucking on ice chips and the ice pops are good to suck on now. I even had two tablespoons of custard with my crushed tablets and it all went down well. I have taken more OraMorph and am not in so much pain. I must have got through three glasses of water today – if this continues tomorrow should be even better.

My skin is itching a lot (all over) – may be a side effect of the drugs.

Thursday 10th October 2019

It is amazing what difference a day makes – yesterday I was doing OK but today is even better. I’m now sipping lovely cold water (even though it tastes like sea water). I’m looking for something to flavour it – tried orange squash, Ribena etc. I even tried the hospital drinks but I didn’t like the Apricot one at all.

I had two spoons of custard to take my tablets early on but had more mid-afternoon just because I fancied it – what a step forward. An hour or so later I did feel a bit sick so I didn’t have any for tea. I did take my evening pills with some though.

The itching is driving me mad. Scratching too much – but I just can’t stop.

Friday 11th October 2019

I did sleep well again last night – but then I’m always feeling tired and dropping off most of the day.

I have been trying lots of different drinks to see what tastes OK – nothing has so far.

Nigel has been keeping my wound clean for me – he is so good. I keep the dressing on for a while longer now as it helps to clean up the edges – but it is still very wet and messy.

End week 1
Apparently the mottled look is a good indication of recovery!

I’m drinking more of the ice and water than I have been doing.

The evening went well but I’m so sleepy all the time and couldn’t stop scratching my itchy skin with shaking hands now – they seem to have a mind of their own now.

Recovery isn’t going as quickly as I had hoped so you will be getting weekly Blogs until things are better – you have been with me so far and I have appreciated your support.

My Radiotherapy – Final Week

*** Contains Graphic Photograph below ***

Monday 30th September 2019

I had a lovely weekend – my two sisters and one of my brothers came up to see me on Saturday. I think they enjoyed their visit. I wasn’t too tired and had taken my pain killers in good time so was OK with all the chatting etc. It did wipe me out a bit on Sunday though.

I went with Nigel to do a bit of shopping – I think the fresh air woke me up a bit but I had lots of rest in the afternoon.

I had another bad night with my neck wound – really sore and itchy – I again had to clean it up and reapply Epimax cream which does cool it a bit. I am now taking two Co-Codamol tablets at a time which makes me very sleepy so after I took them at 04.00 I fell asleep until 08.30.

I had a small amount of scrambled egg for breakfast gearing myself up for the last week – hoping that the burning doesn’t get too much worse – it’s like a very bad case of sunburn at the moment.

Zapping was OK today – the mask was a bit tight but not so bad. We had to see Sophie the dietician again – just for a catch up. She seemed pleased and did understand how I feel about putting weight on after seeing my ‘then and now’ pic stuck on the front of the fridge.

Fridge pic

Tuesday 1st October 2019

I had a better night’s sleep but it was really painful when I cleaned up my wound this morning – so bad in fact it made me cry.

This morning at Slimming World I again put on a pound – not sure how as I’m eating so little now. My friend Lyn was very helpful – got me to the scales quickly – she does rather take over – bless her.

Treatment was painful – the mask was very tight, pressing down on my wound – I thought that the headrest was higher but they said it wasn’t. It did feel like I was being choked – only a quick zapping though.

Monday Aft

We spoke with Fiona and Laura after I was done. Nigel wanted to know if it was alright for me to take some OraMorph midway between my tablets to help with the pain when I clean the wound up. They said it was so I’m on even stronger pain control now but another that makes me drowsy – I slept most of the afternoon.

Wednesday 2nd October 2019

I had a better night’s sleep – I did wake and clean up my wound in the early hours but it wasn’t so painful.

Nigel gave me some more morphine this morning and I managed a wound clean-up and a warm shower. Side effect of the stronger pain killer is it gives me a floating dizzy feeling as well as being sleepy so I’m just doing a lot of nothing now.

Zapping was late today and yet another team. We had to explain about the cling film before they fitted the mask. They went to leave but Nigel had to remind them to position the table before doing the scan and zapping me which was worrying – what would have happened if he hadn’t been there? I asked them to talk to me while they were doing the scan but I didn’t hear a thing although Nigel said he heard them say something. I don’t think they turned the Tannoy on. I was gritting my teeth and made it without panicking.

The doctor looked at my wound and said that after therapy it will take another ten days or so before things start to heal quickly and that she will keep an eye on me during that time.

Thursday 3rd October 2019

Penultimate day – my throat was very tight this morning – it took a while to be able to swallow. I had to crush all my tablets up and take them with a spoonful of yoghurt. Can’t even manage the small ones now.

Before treatment we saw Henrietta, she was a speech therapist and something to do with swallowing. I don’t think it was much good speaking to her at this late stage as it’s my last day tomorrow but I listened and nodded at the right times.

I had a bad day with the mask – very tight and I felt I couldn’t breath – it took three tries to get it fitted where I could breathe a bit. They were very good though and the zapping was quick.

Friday 4th October 2019

Last day of treatment – I thought I would be more excited than I was – I think it is because I am so tired and have been for the last couple of days.

Today the mask hurt a bit but I pushed through that. We gave the team a big box of Roses chocolates as a Thank you. Adam was kind enough to push me back to Reception so that Nigel could video me coming in and ringing the bell signalling the end of my treatment. I have been putting my daily Vlog on YouTube – The last one is here.

Carol gave me some dressing to cover my wound at night (to stop it sticking to the sheets) and we had to pick up some Flamazine cream from the Pharmacy. We watched a couple of lads busking by the Coffee Shop as we waited to collect it. They were raising money for the hospital so we chucked a couple of quid in their bucket.

I had intended to stop the Blog here but I think I will do another one when I have made a bit of a recovery so you get an idea of how long it takes. At the moment it’s so difficult to swallow I’m not eating anything worth talking about hardly drinking and it’s even difficult to get 5ml of OraMorph down – so I’m struggling.

Friday aftn